Book 7 Little Girl Lost by Richard Aleas

Number of frogs: 0

She's gone. I'd stayed. But all through the years that followed, part of me had gone with her, vicariously enjoying the rolling, green campus when I was riding crammed subways past Washington Square, living with her in a clean suburb when my real life took place in a fourth-story walk-up with windows that didn't close properly and junkies outside on the sidewalk. Leo was my real life. While she was learning to heal people, he was training me to uncover the worst things about them. But late at night, in bed with the door closed and the blinds drawn and my eyes shut, I'd see through her eyes, and because she was someplace better, so was I.
Only now I knew she wasn't, that she hadn't been anywhere better. Everything I'd imagined for her -- the happiness, the comfortable life, those were the lie. Somehow she'd fallen into my world.

Good, but a little more predictable than I expected.
I give Little Girl Lost

DVD 6: Vitus

Number of frogs: 0, but the presence of Bruno Ganz makes up for the lack of froggieness.

Vitus stars an amazing 12 year-old (now 15) Swiss piano prodigy named Teo Gheorghiu. He does all his own playing both in the movie and on the soundtrack.

There are some silly or unbelievable parts to the story, but it is well worth seeing if just for the music.

Book 6: The Android's Dream by John Scalzi

Number of frogs: 0

[R]etailers learned early that shoppers prefer their shopping suggestions not be too truthful. One of the great unwritten chapters of retail intelligence programming featured a "personal shopper" program that all-too-accurately modeled the shoppers' desires and outputted purchase ideas based on what shoppers really wanted as opposed to what they wanted known that they wanted. This resulted in one overcompensatingly masculine test user receiving suggestions for an anal plug and a tribute art book for classic homoerotic artist Tom of Finland, while a female test user in the throes of a nasty divorce received suggestions for a small handgun, a portable bandsaw, and several gallons of an industrial solvent used to reduce organic matter to an easily drainable slurry. After history's first recorded instance of a focus group riot, the personal shopper program was extensively rewritten.

I give The Android's Dream:

DVD 5: 3:10 to Yuma

Number of frogs: 0

Arizona desert too dry for frogs. (Although I think a lot of it was shot in Saudi Arabia.)

3:10 to Yuma receives:

DVD 4: The Kingdom

Number of frogs: 0

Saudi desert too dry for frogs (although I think a lot of it was shot in Arizona.)

The Kingdom gets:

Movie Seen Amongst Others While Still in Theatrical Release #1: Cloverfield

Number of frogs: As far as I am concerned, the "monster" was just a giant, atomic-mutant, alien frog.

Go, Monster!

Kill the annoying 20-somethings!

As Leonard Cohen sings: "First, We Take Manhattan..."

I give Cloverfield:

DVD 3: Stardust

Number of frogs: 0 (surprisingly, give the number of witches.)

Claire Danes is radiant, literally.

I give Stardust:

Book 5: Today I Wrote Nothing: The Selected Writings of Daniil Kharms

Number of frogs: 1 (and a mention of a misdirecting attempt to collect an unspecified number of unseen others)

I was born in the reeds. Like a mouse. My mother gave birth to me and put me in the water. And I swam away. Some kind of fish with four whiskers on her nose circled around me. I started crying. And the fish started crying. Suddenly we noticed that some porridge was floating atop the water. We ate the porridge and began to laugh. We were very happy, and we swam along with the current until we met a crayfish. He was an ancient, great crayfish; it held an ax in its claws. A naked frog followed swimming behind the crayfish. “Why are you always naked,” asked the crayfish, “aren’t you ashamed?” – “There’s nothing shameful in it,” answered the frog. “Why should we be ashamed of our fine bodies, given us by nature, when we are not ashamed of the vile acts that we ourselves perpetrate. “ – “Your words are true,” said the crayfish. “And I do not know how to answer you. I suggest we ask a human, because humans are smarter than we. We are only smart in the fables that man writes about us, i.e. it means once more that it is the human that is smart and not us.” But then the crayfish noticed me and said: “And we don’t even have to swim anywhere to find him – because he is here, a human.” The crayfish swam over to me and asked: “Should one be embarrassed of one’s own body? You, human, answer us!” – “I am a human and I will answer you: One should not be ashamed of one’s own body.”

I give Today I Wrote Nothing

Book 4: The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin

Number of frogs: 0

"I'm not joking," Charmaine said. "Ed's a pretty wonderful guy, and I've been lazy and selfish. I'm through playing tennis, and I'm through reading those astrology books. From now on I'm going to do right by Ed, and by Merrill too. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful husband and son."

I give The Stepford Wives

Book 3:The Slaves of Solitude by Patrick Hamilton

Number of frogs: 0

Was not the woman who, six or seven hours ago, was screaming about being "sporty" and supporting a drunken American in his ambition to bathe - was not this woman one who would, geographically situated otherwise, have been yelling orgiastically in stadiums, supporting S.S. men in their ambitions, presenting bouquets to her Fuehrer? My God - couldn't you just see her!
In fact, if one interpreted Vicki Kugelmann in the light of some aspects of Nazidom, and if one interpreted some aspects of Nazidom in the light of Vicki Kugelmann, were not both illuminated with miraculous clarity?

I give The Slaves of Solitude

DVD 2: Eastern Promises

Число Лягушек: 0 (but considering the rather shocking scenes of violence, I'm kind of glad there were none.)

There's something about David Cronenberg that I just don't quite get. I had heard such amazing things about "A History of Violence" that when I saw it I was kind of underwhelmed. It was the same with "Eastern Promises." I can recognize that it was a very good movie, it held my attention, and I was interested throughout, yet I wasn't blown away by it. I don't know if it was the high expectations or what - I suspect there is something in the way Cronenberg writes and directs that puts me off - wish I could put my toe on it.

*SPOILER*
Plus, the twists were, not so much - I think I knew from the beginning that Nikolai was a cop. And it was obvious that he was being given the "Stars" to be set up.

*END SPOILER*

Having said that, I still rate Eastern Promises:

Book 2: A Kiss Before Dying by Ira Levin

Number of frogs: 0, but I didn't really notice.

His plans had been running so beautifully, so goddamned beautifully, and now she was going to smash them all. Hate erupted and flooded through him, gripping his face with jaw-aching pressure. That was all right, though; the lights were out.

So a human guy is trying to take a shortcut to prosperity - he's preparing to marry a girl who's father owns an industry and is ridiculously wealthy. One problem: she's pregnant, and her father would cut her off if he found out. She can't kill the tadpole inside her belly, so he decides to kill her and make it look like suicide. A year or so later, her sister, who was always convinced it wasn't suicide, decides to investigate. The book has some amazing twists - the kind where you shout "Holy Toad!" and throw the book across the pond.

Great book - read it knowing little more than I've already mentioned, and by no means check out the movie version until later - even summaries of the movie are likely to give too much away.

On a scale of 1 to five lilypads, I give A Kiss Before Dying:

2008 DVD #1: Rescue Dawn

Number of Frogs: 0

Rescue Dawn is written and directed by Werner Herzog, so I had planned on letting my friend the Incredible Yodelling Lederhosen make this post, but he has not yet figured out how to use a computer.

Christian Bale plays a bomber pilot who crashes in Laos at the beginning of the Vietnam War. He ends up in a makeshift prison and together with his fellow POWs hatches a plan to escape.

I was a little worried because I know they eat weird foods in that part of the world. I was therefore surprised and pleased to see that when the camp ran out of rice, they served the prisoners live grubs. Yum! Christian Bale looks mighty happy to be greedily wolfing down lots of the wriggling, nummy-nummy bugs.

On a scale of 1 to 5 lily pads, I give this movie:

2008 Book #1: On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan

Number of Frogs: 0

I had high hopes for On Chesil Beach as the title seemed to indicate the presence of bodies of water; unfortunately the writer did not see fit to add any frogs into the book at all.

I found the main premise of the book confusing. Two humans are at an inn on their wedding night, and are both nervous about what is to come since neither of them have mated before. There is a graphic description of their first attempt at amplexus, which the male seems to achieve successfully; however, the female does not release her eggs and runs away from the male. Somehow this is interpreted as the male's fault, even though he did everything correctly.

On a scale of 1 to 5 lilypads, I award this book: